I don’t like to be kept waiting.
I could even say I hate waiting, if using the word “hate” wasn’t against my proper Southern upbringing.
And yet, waiting seasons—long or short—are one of God’s favorite methods of teaching me.
One such time of delay involved a desperate—and in hindsight—a rather silly search for a mother-of the-groom dress.
After months of planning, our son and his fiancé decide to forego the big wedding. Instead, they announce their desire for a simple ceremony.
I was so in favor of simple.
But then, they inform us they are moving the wedding up three months.
Wait a minute.
I’ve already chosen a rehearsal dinner site, and made what seems like hundreds of other parent-of-the groom arrangements for an out of state wedding.
And now, I’m making those same decisions again, spending hours on the phone, switching out venues, finding alternate dates, experiencing the hurry-up of an earlier than anticipated wedding date.
Finally, one major item remains on my list. Finding a dress somewhat comparable to the style the mother-of-the-bride chose—a short silk suit.
What could be so hard about that?
After multiple trips to major malls in two different cities, I eventually find the perfect dress. The only problem is it’s the same one the mother of the bride bought.
I wish I could say I took this minor setback with ease. But I didn’t.
The wedding is now a month away.
I obsess over finding the perfect dress. It’s all I talk about. My family wishes I would change the subject.
I do hours of Internet searches on out-of-the-way boutiques, and visit more than a few of them. And still we don’t find the dress. My preacher man exceed his life time quota of shopping trips.
Then, on a trip to visit relatives in a neighboring state, I remember a little shop in a nearby town.
I call.
They think they have the perfect dress.
It’s almost perfect. A small adjustment here and there, and it just might work.
My preacher man joins me in the dressing room while the shop owner pins the dress for alterations. The owner asks about our son and future daughter-in-law.
We mention their calling to Christian service. And just like that, this one statement about Christian service opens a pathway to his heart.
He begins to talk about his spiritual concerns. He shares his faith. His doubts.
And our four by four dressing room turns into a cubicle of Grace.
Two hours later, we are still talking. We encourage him, and pray with him.
In the meantime, I sit down, and when I stand up, the back of that perfect dress looks like crinkled up tissue paper.
I envision walking out of the church, but all I see is a wrinkled mess of a dress.
“I can’t do anything about it,” the storeowner said. “It’s the nature of silk organza.”
Too often my nature is to make every situation all about me.
I apologize to the shop owner for taking up his afternoon. He’s gracious. “Our meeting was a divine encounter, much more important than selling a dress,” he said.
I leave the shop without a short silk suit, but with an insight about those frustrating seasons when we’re waiting for life to work out.
As I walk to our car, I sense the Holy Spirit nudge me, and I hear the Voice.
This delay was never about you or your dress. It was always about this man.
And I realize, oh so belatedly, if I had found the dress quickly, I would have never gone on an all-out-search for an out-of-the-way boutique.
We would have never met this man. We would have never encouraged him.
And we would have missed experiencing poured out grace in the middle of a dressing room.
How I wish God would always clue me in on how our lives interweave with each other’s.
How I wish I could tell you that every time I’m faced with a frustrating situation, my first thought is how God might use my circumstance to impact someone else.
But I can’t.
Sooner or later, most often later, it crosses my mind and I remember.
Maybe. This. Isn’t. About. Me.
What if my delay leads to a divine, God-arranged moment of grace for someone else?
And I recall this truth.
He has made everything beautiful in its time…Ecclesiastes 3:11
Embracing Grace,
P.S…In case you’re wondering, I found a dress at the very next boutique—a mere two states away.
How do you handle times of delay? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Share in the comment section.
I read your whole article before realizing who wrote it! I hope you are doing well. Love what you said here. My pastor recently quoted “Delay is not denial” which I have pondered and now to add to it “delay may lead to a divine arrangement”. I need to stop focusing on my own desires and put His plan/desires first. That can be quite difficult, but I pray that I make it part of my daily thoughts. Thank you for your words of wisdom 😊
Julie, thanks for commenting. Times of waiting and delay are the hardest seasons. I have to remind myself constantly to look beyond my circumstances. I love your pastor’s statement, “delay is not denial.” I’m adding his phrase to my meditations about times of waiting. Blessings, Julie!
Beautiful, Betsy. Your words always touch my heart in a special way. I wish I handled my times of delay much better than I do. Always learning from my big sister. Love you!
Thank you, Donna. Love you, baby sister!
Great post and great reminder that He does all things well! Over and over He shows us how He is working all things for our good and His glory but more often than not we tend to forget that He is working in every facet of our lives! Thanks for this great story and great reminder that the grace that works in us is not just for us! I love you, sweet friend! You have inspired me for years! You are a class act!
B.Kay, thank you. I love this: “The grace that works in us is not just for us!” How right you are. Love you bunches!
This “preacher man” remembers those many trips and stops looking for the perfect dress. I do remember the amazing conversation with the shop owner. Lessons learned along the way. Often it seems we stumble along into situations that God has waiting for us. Great writing, Becky. Keep it up!
Thank for the encouragement, preacher man.
Beautifully written Becky! I needed to hear this and gain some fresh perspective. We have a few areas we are waiting in and it can feel like a pressure cooker of frustration. Thank you for the reminder that it isn’t always about me!
Wow, Debbi. “Pressure cooker of frustration” is a good description of waiting. I’m grateful God reminds me, it isn’t always about me. And I’m grateful this post spoke to you. How I appreciate you took the time to respond. Love you, Debbi.
Just when I think “I’ve arrived!” to that place called Patience, God says, “You’re on the wrong platform. Get off and go the other direction.” At which point I either drop my shoulders and feel sorry for myself or dash like a flash of lightening while growling like a pirate. But in the end, I’m always glad He’s put me on the right train.
Thank you for your words of wisdom and for reminding me that often there is a bigger picture beyond the immediate.
We’ve all been there Stephanie. I’m asking Him to give me greater insight when I’m so frustrated by delay. I love your analogy of a train. I don’t want to be headed in the wrong direction! Love you.
I am new to your site but this was just what I needed to hear, just when I needed to hear it. I am reminded that He is never slow. Tonight this waiting heart was encouraged to not grow weary. Thank you.
Kim, I don’t know how I missed your comment! I’m just now reading it. I thank you so much for commenting and letting me know you were encouraged. I so identify with “the waiting heart.” Recently, I heard a wise man say, “God can out wait you.” But He knows exactly when it’s time to step in. I’m saying a prayer for you during your days of the “waiting heart.”